Wednesday, January 31, 2018

More of a doer

I am no accident you say 
You know the ins and outs of each of my days
Thank you! but I ask for more 
Make me less of a dreamer, and more of a doer

A simple truth I fear that keeps me from bliss
Is that I am frozen, inactive and lazy to bits 
This realization kills me so 
It's keeps me smaller, I'm my own worst foe

I teeter, I totter, still I'm unable to remain
You gave me desires, which constrict me in my frame
I blame, I whine, I complain like a child
But why then did you make me yearn to be free and so wild!! 

Is it a lie, an empty promise, or a fantasy with no appeal
That exists within me, is it even real?
Why do I waver, and wander, and constantly so?
Is it coz' I live in a mirage, and have no goals?
Am I a fool, a hopelessly blind and idiotic fool
To want, and when something fails, feel that life's cruel?

It worries my heart, and brings a tear to my eye
That my lofty aspirations and ideals, will slowly die 
Don't leave me stranded, don't leave me prey
To my own half-baked untruths and lies

I am weary and truly fed up of feeling this way
Of hoping, and wanting, but feeling like I'm doing little to change
Why did you make me stubborn and set in my ways inside?
But also flaky, shaky and fickle in mind?

Really, I feel like an empty nest
With loads to offer but not really my best?
Is my lack of struggle, my privileged and peaceful life 
Not causing me to act and deal with inner strife?
You made me a dreamer, but make me a doer!
Unshackle me from these tiring binds I pray!
Deliver me from that unspeakable fury
That threatens to overwhelm and drive me astray

I don't feel an inner power so amazing, the conviction of many
That seem to inspire, and push and drive
Help me to be a girl of action
So that I may cause change, make a fire and light alive
Squash my restless, aimless being, and keep me still 
So that the right thing excites me to do your glory and will

Let the drawn break over me, simply purge me from within
So that I can let go of a great many meaningless things
That jade my day, tarnish my soul 
And leaves me feeling like I have little control

Help me to become decisively strong, a driver of my future
A bull by its horns grabber,  and less of a cynic, a critical doubter
But most importantly,  please help me be
Less of a dreamer, and more of a doer.

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