Where is my coffee?

All I need is space for expression
For my thoughts to take a path of a relentless flow
And find their way across the universe
They make me bounce back with vigour
Empty my soul of Idleness
Oh to be restless and disturbed
Is to seek a new awakening.
It will only fade away,
Once you remember to start to control it.
I see a frizzy haired girl next to me
She peeps into her books for hours on end
Searching and seeking for the answers.
The walls of the library are bright and warm
I don't ever wanna leave.
Writing in lines of short make it easier.
I don't need to explain.
My eyes search eagerly for a green dot
But I see none.
I had a dream today
It made me awaken in pain and tears
It asked me to wake up and smell the coffee
Where is my coffee?

Freedom defined

My dad asked me to explain what freedom means to me.

I answer:

I think the definition of freedom
Lies in which way you look at it
Freedom is often an illusion
You are only as free as you imagine yourself to be
For me, freedom lies within
It is the closing of holes which over time tarnish the soul
Holes in the soul which are controlled by attachments
Forming webs of suffering which we get caught in
For me freedom is to be free from suffering, bit by bit
To get to a place, where nothing external can break through and reach me
Its easy to say, but the most difficult thing in the world
One may argue that to not have the external affect you
Is to not live at all.
But the strongest personalities in the world
Have let the outside affect them to enable them to rise above it.
They have gone on to create something significant for themselves and the world
The popular notion of freedom is to give up all
For to give up all worldy posessions and people who are near to you
Requires a hermit out of you.
I feel that we are all called to be free in our own ways
In our own special paths which are laid down for us
And this is the way which will lead us to be free
To find the road which is blurred by our conditioning
And the environment in which we live
I think freedom lies in every step
In every choice and to know you made the right one
Or to learn an important lesson from the wrong one
It is the travel to the gate and not the gate standalone at the end
It is to break down the conditioning
By constantly questioning, challenging and seeking new experiences,
By overcoming that which is unpleasant
To find your true self.
It is a continuous struggle and calls for introspection at every point.
The temporal is constantly inextricably linked with it
There is no escaping worldy ways and rules which help define us
We will always be bound by duty, by responsibility
But, I believe these become a little easier to understand.
I don't deny it is still a struggle to decide.
These are only tools in our hands which cannot be thrown away
They are vital to help us create a means to an end.
And an end I will find.

Rambling girl

Cigarettes can not substitute people.
Instant happyness = me on guitar.
The Nicest people can also by the shittyest.
Family-time, however boring and nice, is vital for the right balance.
Doing what I feel is more important to me than doing the right thing. Not something I'm particularly proud of.
Any day minus the ppl I love = scary.
2009-2010 is fast turning into the year I've made the most number of friends.

Next year, this time where will I be?

An explaination

I thought long and hard about what to say
Its hard to convey some of which is enmeshed in my soul
When few can understand it.
And fewer whom I care so deep about
To want to give some of my soul to them
My soul so precious, my very own
To the sun who wants everything revolve around it
I fear will lose things one by one
The sun whose very essence is to burn
Will burn things in its orbit
And cause unbearable regret and pain, too late realized.
I fear for the sun and for myself
For I see the sun burn me up too
And it causes me to move away
As it will only create shackles and bind me
I see myself as a bird
I once was trapped, then I was free,
but I cannot let myself
be trapped again
I see myself, a tune unrestrained,
One which cannot be held shut inside a musical box
Its the very thing which kept me away for so long
I sensed them then too but now the signs are clear
And they do not disappear like I hoped they would
I wish I was like Sita, but I am not her, yet.
To be like her is my struggle and my sorrow
My pain and my happiness.
But, till then I tread forward holding
The invisible hand of providence.
I will get to a place where I break down
The fences which aptly containing my yearning
It will set me free
All I seek is the Shiva in me.
One day, I will be with him forever.