Capricious

A list of songs reflect my mood
Sad or happy, I don't know
bittersweet yes, whimsical more
But most, I guess they seem to show
The clouds bind the sun that shines
And the sun pierces through the rain
The wind will blow the clouds away
The rainbow will not last the fray
There seems to be a truth, infinite and deep
That I seem to swivel on
Like a ballet dancer in fast spin on her toe
Blurry images of beauty leave me tired
For want of them, to succumb to them
Yet, to tear myself away is to bid painfull farewell
Of the web of truth I spun myself
Large and intricate it was, where everything had it's own place
Yet I withdraw on my own
It proved to be yet another farce
Should I be tossed about like a boat on the ocean?
Or should I steer my own way home?
Is it a bit of both or a little of none?
Truth is I am neither.
It turns out, nothing can be taken for granted
I open my arms to let the winds of change take over
Yet, here I am as hard as wall
Which lets nothing through
There is something odd about this predicament
It is not in my nature
I feel a different person
Left aflutter in the air
Yet tied down to something.
Why am I not able to let go?