An explaination

I thought long and hard about what to say
Its hard to convey some of which is enmeshed in my soul
When few can understand it.
And fewer whom I care so deep about
To want to give some of my soul to them
My soul so precious, my very own
To the sun who wants everything revolve around it
I fear will lose things one by one
The sun whose very essence is to burn
Will burn things in its orbit
And cause unbearable regret and pain, too late realized.
I fear for the sun and for myself
For I see the sun burn me up too
And it causes me to move away
As it will only create shackles and bind me
I see myself as a bird
I once was trapped, then I was free,
but I cannot let myself
be trapped again
I see myself, a tune unrestrained,
One which cannot be held shut inside a musical box
Its the very thing which kept me away for so long
I sensed them then too but now the signs are clear
And they do not disappear like I hoped they would
I wish I was like Sita, but I am not her, yet.
To be like her is my struggle and my sorrow
My pain and my happiness.
But, till then I tread forward holding
The invisible hand of providence.
I will get to a place where I break down
The fences which aptly containing my yearning
It will set me free
All I seek is the Shiva in me.
One day, I will be with him forever.